The Great Barf-Off of 2008

Lovely day we've had here. I can sum it up by saying I've already scheduled Stanley Steemer to come over on Monday. If you can handle the detail, read on.

One of the downsides of having a non-talking two-year-old is that they can't tell you what's wrong when they don't feel good. I knew Kiddle seemed off this morning but I didn't know what was bothering him until I gave him his morning milk ... and he projectile vomited it all over the couch and oriental rug five minutes later.

And then on the dining room rug. And back to the couch and living room rug. And of course with a trail of puke across the hardwood floor as we tried to get him to the kitchen. And let me tell you, milk curdles awfully quickly after ingestion. Gross.

So my house smells like barf. I've done multiple loads of laundry. And my kid is begging me for a cracker in between episodes of WordWorld.

But I'll have a clean couch on Monday! And, trust me, it's long overdue thanks to peanut butter hands and leaking sippy cups.

Nap? I don't need no stinkin' nap!

No, no. Those aren't dark circles under my eyes. I'm fine. Great, in fact. No time for sleeping. I need that hour and a half to destroy my room every day. So much stuff, so little time.

Dream a little dream

I'm so tired of crazy pregnancy dreams.* Every night I have these long, very detailed, ultra stressful dreams. They aren't dreams about the baby or delivery, but are crazy scenarios that bring in people and details from my life that I haven't thought about in a million years. I don't remember having them so early in my pregnancy last time and it seems like they went on for a long time, so I don't really see an end in sight. Argh!

There were a couple of themes last night. Can't remember the first one now, but the second one had to do with my college boyfriend. Something about surprising him at his parents house with my best friend from high school. I don't think I was married and pregnant at the start of the dream, but by the end I sure was.

It's not too surprising that he's appearing though. I recently discovered he lives in the Denver area, so he's been on my mind. I haven't spoken to him in almost 12 years (and the last conversation we had wasn't particularly a good one), but I think if this move happens I'm going to call him. Unfortunately for him, he's a traffic reporter at a local radio station so he's pretty easy to find. It's not so much that I want him back in my life, but I'm definitely curious about him (did he ever get married? kids? is he happy?). And our relationship was, to put it mildly, a significant one, so I kind of feel like I should warn him I'm around. You KNOW he's the first person I'll randomly run into on the street. ("Oh, hi. Didn't mean to startle you there ... ").

Anyway, I wish there was some magic remedy -- other than having this baby -- that would stop these dreams. I know I'd be a lot better rested.

* What?! You're pregnant? Did I miss that little piece of news? Click here.

Looks like we're moving ...

... to Colorado.

Where do I start? Mr. P's company bought another company in Boulder. He's been out there four days a week since mid-October leading the integration of the two companies, with the intention of eventually moving there permanently to run the day-to-day operations. However, the partners out there are having trouble stepping back (at all) and have been giving Mr. P a really hard time ... behind his back, to make it worse. He's been very discouraged and feeling a bit abandoned by his boss, so the move was looking less and less likely every day.

But he had a good conversation with his boss last night, so it seems the move is back on. Not a done deal yet, but we're committed enough that his boss plans to start the ball rolling with HR and the relocation people.

And how do I feel about this?

Bittersweet. I finally have lovely friends here and am feeling a bit more connected to the town. Kiddle is loving preschool and has sweet little friends. The town and homes here are absolutely adorable and I know I'll have a hard time finding something similar elsewhere. And while we don't see Mr. P's family very much, at least they're accessible, and it's great to spend time on the Jersey shore in the summers.

Stressed. I've gotten a lot of work done on the house this fall, knowing that this move was a possibility, but I still have a bathroom to deal with before we can put our house on the market. (And it's our only tub/shower, so hello neighbors! I'll be over every couple of days to de-stink.) And if I'm understanding the relo package correctly, we do have an option of the company buying our house if it doesn't sell but that's only after a "reasonable" time on the market, which I think means 90-120 days. So, say, we get the house on the market mid-January, that means our earliest possible time to have a definite contract is probably mid-April, unless by a miracle it sells right away. Which is a dim hope in this economy.

And did I mention I'm having a baby in May?! If I follow pregnancy rules, I'll need to be in Colorado by the end of March, assuming I don't have any complications between now and then. (At least that way I won't have to keep my house clean for showings. I can just stage it and leave town.) So I might be having this kid while living in Mr. P's corporate apartment. Joy. And I'll also need to find a preschool for Kiddle and a new OB for me. My to-do list is going to be three miles long. As will Mr. P's -- who's only here three days a week.

Excited. When I moved to New York, I always assumed I'd move back West at some point. Then I met my Queens-bred husband and pretty much gave up that idea. Which I was fine with ... there are definite advantages to living in the NYC area. But there were two places I always said I'd move to without hesitation -- Austin and Denver. So it's absolutely incredible that we have the opportunity to move to Boulder, and on the company's dime. And as much as I love living in this area, the truth is that I'm a child of the suburbs. The town we're in now is a good blend of the city and suburbs, but I relish the idea of more space and lower taxes and fewer people. New Jersey is the most densely populated state in the country -- which is saying a lot because most of the state is decidedly unpopulated.

Kiddle and I went out to visit a few weeks ago and spent most of the trip driving around, looking at different areas. Unfortunately, Boulder is out. It's a lovely town, but housing is not affordabe, even compared to here. We don't want to sacrifice more living space for location. At this point, we're focused on three neighborhoods in the surrounding area. One thing I discovered is that while I know I prefer the look of homes built before 1940 and pretty much anything after that makes me cry, I actually like what they're building out there in the last 5 years. So it looks like we're going to aim for something new (or at least new-ish).

Of course, this might all change tomorrow! But it's sounding much more definite now than it has in weeks. Wish me luck!

Preschool Update

It's a trend! He happily runs into school now, and I even got a "bye mama" today. Woo hoo!

Parent-Teacher conferences are coming up week after next. I'm so curious to hear what they have to say. At least I haven't gotten a question in his notebook like another parent received: "How is Jack's socialization with other kids?" Yikes! I'm going with the no-news-is-good-news approach.

Three words in a row!

Finally! I heard a very clear three-word sentence out of Kiddle last night. He went upstairs to get his Word World cow and a few minutes later I heard him saying, "Where cow go? Where cow go?" as clear as day. Way to go Kiddle!

What? Aren't you going to miss me?

A big step forward for Kiddle today ... for the very first time he didn't cry when I dropped him off at preschool. Lord, that only took two months of twice weekly meltdowns. I have my fingers crossed for Thursday. Let's hope it's a trend, and not a one-time anomaly.

It's all over now ...

Lord help me. Kiddle can climb out of his crib.

The first time was yesterday after his nap and I happened to be in the room. Then this morning I heard him wake up around 7:00 ... and a few seconds later came toddling into our room.

Actually it's shocking that he hasn't done it earlier. The kid can climb anything. And I've seen him pull up on his knees on the crib rail to get something off the bookshelf next to his bed. So it's really not a surprise -- but something I was hoping to put off as long as possible. I think I'll leave his bed as is this week while Mr. P is away, then take the side off when he gets back.

I see long evenings of putting the kid back to bed 41 zillion times in my very near future.

I found the key to his motivation.

Kiddle has never willingly participated in a diaper change in his life. That's not to say that he always resists a change, but I've certainly never been able to say, "Come over here so I can change your diaper," without him running the other way or at least ignoring me.

However ... tonight we were at B&N and Kiddle was playing with the Thomas train set. I caught a whiff of some serious stinky butt and said, "Kiddle, I need you put down the trains so we can go to the bathroom and change your diaper. We'll come back and play more when we're done."

Do you know what that little varmit did? He immediately laid down on the floor next to the train table -- still clutching a train car in each grubby little hand -- as if to say, "Go ahead. Change me right here." Um, sorry bud. Nice try.

Second day of preschool ...

and as suspected it was a bit worse than the first day. Kiddle started yelling NOOOO as soon as I pulled into the parking lot and it took him about 15 minutes to stop crying once I left. He was great out on the playground, but started crying again when they came inside. He was crying when he got to me. Argh.

I spoke to the director for a few minutes after class. She was basically wondering if it was ok with me if his teachers ignored him rather than trying to comfort him. YES! He doesn't know them so holding him is probably making it worse, plus he can be a bit dramatic (related to my mom and sister, perhaps?), so letting him work it out himself is most likely the best course of action.

My fingers are crossed hoping for some improvement next week.

Ahoy Matey!

Well, this afternoon was much better than the morning. Here's Kiddle and Little K dressed up as a pirate and Super Bunny. Guess who's the pirate?

First day of preschool ...

and I wish I had a better report. Lots of crying unfortunately.

I had hoped it would go smoothly. Last Tuesday we got together seven of the nine kids in his class for a playdate at the park. And on Thursday we went to an open house at the school so Kiddle could see his classroom and meet his teachers. He did well at the open house (I was in the room with him), but today he cried when I dropped him off and an hour later when they brought the kids up to where we were waiting, I could hear him wailing the entire way. Poor Kiddle.

But he didn't cry the entire time, at least. Laurie said he stopped within a few minutes and settled in with some markers, but he did have a hard time when they transitioned from one activity to another. And then when they got the kids' stuff together to bring them upstairs to us, he completely freaked out. I'm sure he thought they were taking him somewhere without me.

So hopefully he will react better on Thursday. But I suspect it might be worse because then he'll know I'm leaving him there. I'm not really surprised by all this; he's never been dropped off before and he's also in an intense stranger anxiety phase right now. We continue the gradual phase-in process for a couple of weeks. Thursday the kids are only there for an hour again. Next week is longer while we also add valet drop-off and pick-up (although somehow I doubt he'll react well to someone reaching into the car to take him! I'll probably be walking him in for awhile), then we're finally up to the full three hours in the third week. Six hours a week to myself! Woo hoo!

Mush Mouth

Big week ahead! Today was Kiddle's first speech therapy session and tomorrow is his first day at preschool.

I had him evaluated just before we went to Oklahoma. While he's had quite an explosion of new words in the last couple of months and he's finally consistently attempting to mimic what I say, he's just not understandable by anyone except me. And I can't understand him when he says something out of context. He hasn't seemed terribly frustrated so far. Mostly, I think, because his three best words -- more, done and no -- cover a wide range of situations. The therapist we met with in July thought he had a typical two-year-old boy delay, and while we don't need to be terribly worried about him, he does need some help.

So this morning we met with Ronnie. I was concerned about how it would go, considering his current massive dislike of strangers, but he seemed to feel pretty comfortable with her. And, even more impressive, he actually sat in his chair for much of the session. Oh, and did I mention he didn't say one word? Not ONE! At least not until we were leaving and he said "bye bye" clear as day. And at $145 per not-covered-by-insurance session, that was a pretty expensive sentence.

We've got a ways to go, it seems.

A little bit pregnant ...

Pregnant!

I'm shocked because I really didn't think I was (unlike every other month when I say to Mr. P, "I think I really could be pregnant this time."). With Kiddle I strongly suspected I was pregnant about a week and a half into it, but I hadn't really had any of the same signs this time ... except that I must have peed 50 times yesterday. So mostly on a whim today I decided to do a pregnancy test even though I'm not due to start my period for a couple of days. As I was doing it I was thinking that this was a total waste of a really expensive digital test. Imagine my surprise when I checked few minutes later and saw PREGNANT. Holy shit.

I'm thrilled though, because we have been trying kind-of-in-earnest since January and really-in-earnest with ovulation kits for a couple of months. (I know, I know. I said we were going to start trying last July but you have you heard? You have to have sex to get pregnant. Who knew.) I'm especially thrilled because my original goal was to have kids 2 1/2 to 3 years apart and this will put the gap at 3 years 1 month. (Well, my original goal was to have another one before I turned 40, but we passed that point in May. 40 it is! And isn't it the new 30?)

And, with Kiddle's lack of talking, I'm actually glad we're closer to 3 years apart. I think if I was having a baby right now it would be much more of a challenge with him. Hopefully we can get his speech on track by the time this baby shows up: May 14, 2009.

I'm keeping this post in draft form until I'm ready to share, so see you in November!

My Dad the Missionary

My dad left today for another mission trip to the Ukraine. I think this is his fourth trip over there? Third? Not sure, but in recent years he's become very involved in the mission council at our church. You can read all about their trip at the Church of the Servant in Ukraine link on the right.

I'm melting! I'm melting!

Just got back from our two weeks in Oklahoma. Now, I grew up there and am all too familiar with the weather, but ten days over 100 degrees? Too much for me anymore.

The reason we were there at a time that no one in their right mind would choose? To watch my nephew for a few days. My sister appeared in several shows during the local theater's summer season, and while normally my parents do the babysitting duties, they had a week-long trip planned in the middle of it all. So Kiddle and I were on the job.

And we had a great time. In some ways hanging out with two of them is easier than just one. They adore each other so they keep each other entertained. But, it was also like herding cats. You're constantly trying to get one to go somewhere, the other not to go somewhere, do this, don't do that. Fun and stressful all at once. And we kept really busy: the play area at the gymnastics center, the park, the sprayground, the play area at Chick-fil-A (or "chick-a-lay," as my nephew calls it), the science center, Pump It Up.

The last two activities we were only able to do because, in one of those bizarre mysteries of the universe, Mr. P actually had to be in Oklahoma for business while we were there. He's never gone there for work and probably won't ever again. And that week really was when he had to be there; he didn't schedule it around us at all. Crazy.

Overall, the first week was great. Kind of odd and kind of nice to be there for a week without my parents. I say odd mostly because it's not the house I grew up in, so it's still feels a bit like staying at a friend's house instead of your family home. And it's too big. My parents are the only people I know who moved into a bigger house after they got rid of the kids.

More on the second week in another post. Here are some great pics of my nephew at the sprayground (god, I wish we had one around here) plus a bit of video of the two of them. (And, no, I'm not total trailer trash! They don't normally run around in public dressed like that. Did I mention it was 140 degrees?)

That New Car Smell

I have a new car-ar! Woo hoo! (Do you hear the sing-song quality to that taunt?)

Paid off the Mazda 6 last week, but rather than reveling in the No Car Payment feeling for a while, I decided to upgrade to an SUV. I know ... crazy of me with these $4 gas prices, but I really wanted more room and I was just so tired of my car.

So I used my free time during Kiddle's nap yesterday to crunch, crunch, crunch the numbers using a Consumer Reports bottom line report and got lots of coaching from my dad. Mr. P was able to come home around 3:00 (he's the money guy) and we headed out to the dealer.

By 7:00 I had a spankin' new Mazda CX-9. Platinum silver. Totally loaded: rear-seat entertainment system, rear-view camera, GPS and intelligent key system (which means I don't have to actually put a key in the ignition to start it or use my remote to unlock it). Mr. P was pretty impressed with my negotiating skills. When the finance guy showed me the invoice, said he just wanted to make $300-400 above the dealer price, and I said, "Well, I'd like to give you less than the dealer invoice" with a straight face, Mr. P almost fell out of his chair.

So thanks dear Dad for all your advice! I love my new car! (Of course, I'm headed off to Oklahoma for two weeks in a few days, so not much time to enjoy the newness. Oh well.)

I have a new car-ar!

Trains, Boats and Helicoptors

My parents were just here for another visit (they had free tickets on American as a result of being caught up in the MD-80 fiasco in April) and Kiddle continued his love affair with Ahdah. It's not that he doesn't like his dad or my mom, but for whatever reason my dad is the only person Kiddle will hang out with and not even notice I'm not around. I can't explain it, but I'm not going to fight it.

We had a great visit with them. They're so laid back and don't expect to be entertained. But I was feeling a bit guilty that we haven't done anything really fun the last few times they were here, so we went into the city on Tuesday to see the new Waterfalls public art exhibit. And it was beautiful, interesting and a bit of a let-down all at the same time. We did a half hour Circle Line tour which took you right by each waterfall, but really the best view was from the end of the South Street Seaport where you could see all four structures at one time.

Transportation was the theme of the day. Kiddle was fascinated and a little scared with each new encounter. First was the train ride into the city. I should add here that he doesn't like things that move (shocking, I know, since he's typically a daredevil baby). Last time he rode the little train at the zoo he cried the whole time, and has refused to get on it since then. He even freaks out if you put money in the little truck/car/horse ride-ons at the mall. He'd been on the subway as a baby but this was his first ride as a conscious-of-his-surroundings toddler. And, just as I expected, he wasn't thrilled. Fairly upset, wouldn't get out of my lap. But by the time we got into the city he'd calmed down and realized that trains are ok.

At the seaport, he stood at the railing of the dock saying, "Boat. Boat. Boat." At least until the line started moving to board ... then he was not interested in being a passenger. Of course, once we got underway he decided boats were the coolest thing ever and spent most of the trip running around madly. He had better sea legs than the rest of us (definitely inherited from his dad's side of the family). The river was filled with barges and police boats and speedboats and helicopters and sailboats and trucks and buses crossing the bridges. It was transportation overload and he was in heaven.

Then the return trip on the train was a totally different story: he ran onto the train like he was a seasoned commuter and sat himself down in his own seat with a smug little smile on his face. Such a big boy!

Good News/Bad News

The good news: Our lovely friends tried for ages and ages and ages before having their now-two-year-old daughter. And they've been trying just as hard for a second child. Their last two embryos were implanted last week, so we've all been waiting around with crossed fingers hoping for a good result. And so far so good. Her levels weren't looking great over the weekend but as of Monday they had quadrupled. Two sets of identical twins perhaps?

The bad news: We have some other dear friends who had a baby boy in early May. They found out about halfway through the pregnancy he had a serious heart defect that would require surgery immediately after his birth. They were finally able to bring him home from the hospital mid-June. Then this weekend we learned the devastating news that he didn't make it.

Colin was their second child and I've found myself thinking a lot about the loss of a first child compared to a later one. The death of any baby is so tragic and heart-wrenching, but as I look at Kiddle now I realize how much easier it would be to imagine the growth and potential of a second child, rather than being overwhelmed by the raw in-the-moment newness of your first child. Does that make their loss even harder to bear? Or maybe their daughter is such a vibrant, visceral reminder of happiness that she'll help them get through these sad times. I would imagine it's a little of both, plus a whole lot of other emotions that I hope we never have to experience. My heart just aches for them.

Pool Time

A big part of summer in our town is the pool. I'd never even been before -- not being much of a pool person myself -- but I finally broke down and signed the family up for the summer. I really had no excuse anymore, especially since our house is close enough for us to walk there (and hear all the loudspeaker announcements. "Adult swim. All kids out of the pool!").

I thought I'd put off going until they had regular hours during the week (School doesn't get out here until JUNE 25TH! Can you believe that?!), but when Jack's mom called on Saturday to see if we wanted to go post-nap I realized it would be a good idea to go with a seasoned pro. So we slathered on the block, packed up all our towels and headed out.

One surprise: Living in the Land of No I thought we'd get a dictionary-sized book of rules and regs, but no. Although it would be nice to know for sure when the toddler pool is open. (I think they were simply out of them. And no it's not a manual; just a tri-fold pamphlet, from what I later heard.)

Another surprise: It was actually really great there. The toddler pool is perfect for Kiddle right now. (But I'm so thankful I didn't join last year. What an exhausting experience that would have been with a just-found-his-feet walker.) There is quite a bit of shade. And the pool is ringed by a grassy berm so you aren't stuck on concrete for the entire time. (Note to self: take some pool toys so I don't feel so guilty when my little one picks up every little boat and rubber duck he can get his hands on.)

Maybe I will become a pool person after all.