Sleep, sweet sleep.

Here it is ... Kiddle's first nap in weeks. Of course it's only because he fell asleep in the car while we were taking his babysitter home. At 4:30. He woke up for a brief moment when I carried him inside, but passed out again immediately on the couch. Great, just great.

"Kiddle? Cottage cheese? Cookie? COOKIE!"

"Kiddle ... Daddy's home! Look, he's eating a cookie!

"Oh Kiddle ... want to watch Ranch Hands from Outer Space? TASHA! ORANGE HOUSE! HORSE ON MY HEAD! SPACE! SPACE!"

Nothing broke through the coma. He eventually woke up about 6:00. Refreshed and raring to go. Great, just great.

***

Dropping his nap has thrown me for a bit of a loop. I really hoped he'd keep it at least through the summer, as I adapt to a two-kid household. But he's only napped a handful of times since Christmas. Ugh. I still enforce "quiet time" but it's impossible to force a two-year-old to sit on his bed and read books quietly. So quiet time has evolved into "video time" where we both lay down on my bed and watch a video. Well, he watches, while I attempt to nap in between bouts of "Mama, Mama, wake up, wake up!" and "Kiddle, stop jumping on the bed RIGHT NOW or I'll turn off the TV."

Unfortunately just because he won't sleep, it doesn't mean he doesn't need to sleep. He's exhausted in the afternoon and it's extremely dangerous to put him in the car after 4:00. And we simply can't go out to dinner anymore because he just isn't in a state to handle it. Our ideal schedule right now is dinner at 5:30, upstairs for a bath at 6:00, in bed by 7:00. This summer will be especially rough, I suspect, because he'll have to go home while all his little friends are still outside playing. I'm still hoping he'll realize naps are ok and revert back to them, but that hope is very, very dim.

The plus side is that he's in bed by 7:30. And I have my evenings to myself. But, of course, my ideal is for him to take a two-hour nap and still be in bed by 7:00. Too much to ask, I suppose. But I'm really hoping this next kid is a sleeper. Is that too much to ask?

***

So here we are ... it's almost 9:30 and he's still awake. I've been up there, Mr. P's been up there, but he's still rustling around and fussing. He'll probably give it up soon, but it's going to be a long night and an early morning, I suspect.

Love those late afternoon snoozes. Grr.

No man's land.

It remains my futile goal to get Kiddle to bed by 7:00 (and that means by himself and asleep by 7:00). Last night wasn't too bad. Skipped his bath, as usual (man, he's one dirty kid by now), and had him down about 7:15. He, however, missed the memo that he needs to go to SLEEP at that time. He cried for a few minutes, but quickly gave up tears for rearranging the furniture. He spent a long time rocking in the big red chair in such a way that it was hitting both his closet door that doesn't latch closed AND the gate on the door, so it was like listening to a drum solo up there. BOOM-CLICK-RATTLE. BOOM-CLICK-RATTLE. But we continued to ignore him because usually he'll settle down and go to sleep soon enough.

The rocking eventually stopped and he moved on to counting with gusto and singing the ABCs, with a plainitive "MOM-MEEE" thrown in every now and then. Still, we ignored him.

Finally, at 8:15, he started getting upset, so I gave in and headed up to intervene ... and found him draped over the gate at the top of the stairs. He had used the rocking chair to bypass the gate on his door and was now trapped in the hall. And probably had been for a good half hour.

I thought his counting/singing seemed a little louder than ususal. Whoops.

School is cool.

If you've been following along for a while, you'll know that Kiddle has had some going-to-school issues. He's much, much, much improved but his common quip as we pull into the carpool line is "NO KOOL, NO KOOL," and sometimes there are still some tears as he walks away with his teacher.

Imagine my surprise today when when he was giggling to himself as we got in line, and when I trotted out my cheerleader-ish "Yay school!," he actually clapped and said, "YAY KOOL!!" as well. Shocker.

Think he'll have a meltdown next Tuesday?

Truck Timeout

Gorgeous day out today. It was so nice to spend the afternoon outdoors, playing in the backyard, racing around the park, and hanging out with our neighbors. Days like this renew my hope for spring.

One of Kiddle's favourite outdoor activities right now is racing his big dump truck up and down the front sidewalk. He's generally pretty good about listening to me when I tell him to stop and wait for me. But, as he's contractually obligated to as a toddler, sometimes he has to push the boundaries. Like today when he not only kept racing toward the busy-ish street at the end of our block, but went AROUND THE CORNER as I was yelling at him to stop. So I caught up with him, picked up the truck and marched him back to the house as he tried his damnedest to wrestle it away from me. MAH TRUH! MAH TRUH! MAH TRUH! Too bad, kiddo. Now it's Mommy's truck.

When we finally arrived at the backyard, I wedged the truck up in the dogwood tree for a timeout. You would have thought I cut off his right hand. The sobbing and dramatics went on for ages. All the way through lunch, in fact. TRUH IN TREE. TRUH IN TREE. HEP TRUH, MAMA. Yes, little one, the truck is in the tree because you didn't listen to Mommy.

But I have to say it was a remarkably effective weapon for the rest of the day. Anytime he was headed down the driveway and ignored me when I said to turn around, all I had to say was "Do you want me to put the truck back in the tree?" Immediate compliance!

Who's "Extra Little"?

I guess I should explain.

When Kiddle was an infant, I usually referred to him as Little Kid (much to Mr. P's annoyance because he thought it sounded like I didn't know Kiddle's name — until he started calling him Little Kid, too). Eventually Little Kid was shortened to just Little, which later evolved into Kiddle. We don't use those nicknames much anymore, but at one point we did become a bit concerned he might be Little for the rest of his life. I mean, who wants to be known as Little at 40?

Anyway, I've been struggling with what I should call this new kid in my musings here. And Extra Little seems fitting since he'll be my second, extra kiddo. So Extra Little it is ... at least until he shows up and something else seems to fit better.

Extra Little Update

With Kiddle in preschool two mornings a week, I finally had some kid-free "me" time. Or so I thought. Nope. Not lately anyway, because it seems all I do with my Tuesday and Thursday mornings is go for prenatal-related appointments. Last Thursday was a follow-up at the diabetes center. This Thursday is a regular visit to the OB. And today's thrilling appointment was for an ultrasound and a consult with the perinatalist. The ultrasound to check the size of the baby and the consult because apparently it isn't enough to have my OB and nutritionist following my gestational diabetes. I need to add more people to this kid's entourage.

But the report was good so I'll try to refrain from further complaint. Extra Little's estimated size is four pounds, four ounces, which is on target for 32 weeks. But it seems, however, they failed to mention that I'M HAVING A JACK-O-LANTERN instead of a baby:



Yikes! He must take after Mr. P's side of the family.

Two-Year-Olds Are Bizarre

Kiddle was asleep in the bed with me a few mornings ago. He started rustling around, waking up for the day, and suddenly said, full voice, "One, two, three, four, five, six, AAA, BEE, CEE, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, YYY, ZEEEEE!" Well, good morning to you too, little one. (And I won't even try to phonetically type his number pronunciation. Let's just say you can tell he's counting.)

***

He hasn't been a great eater for the last year, and has recently added the quirk of not wanting you to eat his food, even if he's absolutely not going to eat it.

Me: "Hmm, Kiddle, those carrots look yummy. I'm going to have a bite since you're not eating them."
Kiddle, trying to open my mouth: "MAH CARROT!! SPIH IH OW! SPIH IH OW!"
Me, showing him my empty mouth: "Sorry. All gone. Why don't you have a bite?"
Kiddle: "NOOOO! NO BIE!"

***

On Sunday, we were sitting at the table, eating dinner. Earlier in the day he had found Mr. P's bizarre dinosaur puppet. It's huge, scary looking, and something only a little boy (or a little boy in a man's body) would love. He thought it was fantastic and carried it around most of the day, even feeding it bites of his quesadilla at dinner. Mr. P and I were chatting, when I realized Kiddle was having a conversation with the dinosaur. Not unusual for most kids, but it's rare to hear him directly talking to his toys and understand what he's saying:

"OKAY DIE-SO, HODE MAH HAN." (Ok dinosaur, hold my hand.)

"HODE MAH HAN, WE GO KOSS DE STEE." (While we go across the street.)

Awww! Too cute! And it's even cuter to realize he does listen to me. Even when he's actively ignoring what I say.

Are you calling me fat?

Two more months to go and I definitely have moments when I feel as big as a house already ... mostly when I see my naked belly in the mirror. But I did feel a little better today when I picked Kiddle up from school.

His teacher saw me and said, "Wow, you're really popping out now." (Ok, so maybe it didn't start off so well.) "You've got four months left?"

"No, just two."

"Only two? Wow! You look really great!"

I'll take it where I can get it.

It's sing-along time!

We FINALLY got some video of Kiddle singing. If you want to call it singing, that is. Mangling might be a more apt description. He's expanded his repertoire a bit to include Itsy Bitsy Spider and possibly a couple of Jewish songs from preschool. I just don't have the ear to recognize those.

Here's his version of the ABCs:

And one verse of Old McDonald:

Dirty, long-haired hippie!

Yes, my son's hair is so freaking long, Ana had to use a clippie to cut it properly.

Night Night, Monster Mommy.

I've been doing a lot of ranting lately (more off-line than on, I suppose) about Kiddle's going-to-bed issues. Every single night I'm in a complete and total rage. At him for not listening to one single thing that comes out of my mouth (my god, HOW many zillion times could I possibly say "COME OVER HERE -- RIGHT NOW! -- AND PUT ON YOUR PAJAMAS"?) And at myself for turning into such a nasty, screaming monster every night.

Just to make me even crazier, he's completely oblivious to my anger. He's having a grand ol' time jumping naked on my bed. GRRR. Can't he see I'm about to lose it? That I'm THIS CLOSE to tossing him in his room for the night despite the fact he's only wearing a poopy diaper and one sock?

And I love the new step he's added to the process.

me: Do you want to rock with Mommy or Daddy tonight?
Kiddle: ROCK WIT MAMA.
We settle into the chair as Mr. P turns out the light and closes the door.
Kiddle, working up to a full standing-at-the-gate sob session: NO, NO! ROCK DE DA-YEE! ROCK DE DA-YEE! DA-YEE! DA-YEE!
A couple of times I've said, fine, Daddy will come rock with you. And we switch.
Kiddle: NO! MAMA, MAMA! ROCK WIT MAMA! ROCK MAMA!

So, I'm sure you can guess, we quickly learned not to honor that request.

***

Of course, last night he went to bed like an ANGEL.

Took a bath. Let me put on his diaper and pajamas without jumping on the bed at all. Looked at a book with me on my bed, then went into his room without protesting or running from room to room. Sat in his bed nicely while we read another book, then crawled into my lap to rock. When I said it was time to get back in his bed and for me to go, he got down on his own, got under the covers and didn't let out a single peep when I left the room. It was heaven.

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH KIDDLE?

***

How can this sweet sleeping face send me into such a rage?

I take it back.

Spring is most definitely NOT in the air.

We got about six inches of snow yesterday and it was about 25 degrees this afternoon. BRRRR! (But I'm not really complaining because parts of Long Island received over a foot. New York City public schools closed for the first time in five -- yes, FIVE -- years.) March absolutely came in like a lion.

On the plus side, Kiddle discovered the joys of coasting downhill on a bike. If only there wasn't a relatively busy street at the end of our sidewalk. Gulp.

Spring is in the air.

Well, a little bit anyway.

I wish I could say it was a glorious day, but I can't. Overcast and a bit damp, in fact, but it was close to 50 and a nice day to stretch our legs at the park. We've been off and on over the winter when the weather has allowed, but today was the first day we actually encountered the usual group of kids.

Joseph, Juliana, Gwen, and LK were all there. And we met a couple of fresh-on-their-feet walkers who were too little to be noticed last summer. The kids had a fantastic time chasing each other all over the place and making woodchip cakes. Banana cake, chocolate cake, birthday cake, PAN-cakes (they thought that one was hysterical). So many flavors.

This park has become my lifeline to burn some energy out of my busy little kid. The winter has been long, long, long and I can't wait to get back to our nightly park outings. I think I was giddier than the kids today!

Daddy Love: The Movie.

DA-YEE!!

It's seems we're (finally) entering a daddy phase. After, I don't know, two years of a mommy phase? Two years of Kiddle trying to close the door on Daddy when he comes home from work, sobbing at the top of the stairs if Daddy dares to put him to bed solo, and hysterically wailing when Daddy enters his room instead of Mommy.*

Now, he cries when Daddy leaves in the morning, is thrilled when he gets home in the evening and doesn't utter a peep when Daddy takes him up to bed alone. And on nights that we're both getting him ready for bed, his answer to the question, "Do you want to rock with Mommy or Daddy?" is just as often DA-YEE as it is MAMA.

I wouldn't say it's all about Daddy just yet. But we're getting there. Thank god.

Let's hope it hangs on through the birth of this next kid.

* Disclaimer: extreme examples; not everyday occurrences.

KiddleTV

Yes, he's eating blueberries while watching himself eat blueberries.

He loves to watch video of himself. (Future reality star perhaps?) WASH KIDDLE? WASH KIDDLE? as he's tapping on the screen. CAM-RA? And if that doesn't work, WASH DA-YEE?

During the latest episode of KiddleTV, he ran to the fridge and got out the carton of blueberries when he saw himself eating berries on-screen. Art imitating life? Life imitating art? Who knows.

My Little Helper

Three of my favourite of-the-moment Kiddle obsessions:

1) He is my printer assistant. No matter where he is or what he's doing, he must -- MUST -- drop everything as soon as he hears my printer start up just so he can hand me the pages as they come out. I've had to reprint things simply to avoid the meltdown.

2) He is my bathroom attendant. Flushing is his job and his job alone. Heaven forbid I pee and flush the toilet myself. But his belated dash into the bathroom combined with a look of indignant reproach is worth it. At least until I have to bodily remove him from the bathroom and lock the door from the outside.

3) He is my elevator operator. The only reason trips to the grocery store are somewhat reasonable is that we park in the garage under the store and take the elevator up. But never forget -- Kiddle must be the one to push the buttons. To the point that he refused to get on the elevator recently because Mr. P pushed the Up button. The nerve of that guy.

And just how pregnant am I?

Good question.

My mom asked me a while back how many weeks I was. No clue. And of course she said, "You would have known exactly how many weeks you were with Kiddle." Well, duh, mom. It was my first pregnancy and I had it written down on a calendar right in front of me at my desk. Be thankful this is my second pregnancy and I'm not asking you to cancel your trip to Florida that covers my due date.

So how many weeks am I? I know I was 20 weeks on Christmas day, so that means I'm ... hang on ... 28 weeks. Twelve to go.

Yikes. That seems really soon and really far away.

TMI Alert: OB Update

I survived yesterday's three-hour glucose test without passing out or falling asleep. When I took the test while pregnant with Kiddle, desperate for a quick hit of protein, I stopped by McDonald's (perhaps that makes my quest protein-like?) on the way back to the subway to get a double cheeseburger. And, of course, it was one of those times it takes at least 10 minutes to get your food. I was about to collapse into a pile of goo as I clung to the counter, willing them to put that burger in my hands. How hard is it to make a double cheeseburger? I did learn a lesson from that experience and took a peanut butter sandwich with me for yesterday's test.

I also found out that my sugar level wasn't sky high -- 144, and the cut-off is 140. So that was good news and an indication that I might make it through this test without being labeled as diabetic.

The frustrating part of the visit was that the protein level in my urine sample was too high. Way too high. No need to panic yet, but it definitely worries me because that was one of the problems I had while pregnant with Kiddle -- but much later in the pregnancy. Protein in your urine is one of the indicators of preeclampsia. But it must accompany high blood pressure, which I don't have. Yet. The only solution for preeclampsia is to deliver the baby. Not a big deal if you're past 37 weeks, but I've got quite a ways to go before delivery is an option.

However -- hopefully the protein is a sign of something else. Like an asymptomatic UTI. So the doctor is sending off more urine for analysis and took more blood to run some other tests. And I have to do a 24-hour urine collection test this weekend. (So don't drink out of the big red jug in the fridge please!)

And, to top it all off, I have a sinus infection. Very annoying; haven't had one in years and years. I started a round of antibiotics last night, so I'm just waiting for that to kick in and get rid of the pain and pressure on the left side of my face. The good news is that if I do have a UTI, the antibiotics will take care of that too.

Which reminds me ... I'm two hours late taking my pill. Gotta go!

Edited to add: I also found out that I was already exposed to fifth disease at some point, so I'm immune. Whew! One less thing to worry about.

Luck of the Irish? Or the dumbest thing ever?

Am I insane for wanting to get my almost three-year-old this toy? Does it seem less crazy if I add that he's at least 51% Irish?

10 steps to bed.

1) Aim for a 7:00 bedtime ... but always start the process a half hour too late. (Remember, people, he stopped napping. 7:00 is not ridiculously early.)

2) Wrestle Kiddle into a fresh diaper, pull-up (yes, we're layering) and pajamas while he's madly jumping on my bed and hiding under the covers. "HIDEY, Mama! HIDEY!"

3) Dose of Zyrtec, then teeth brushing.

4) Read one or two books. Much to my annoyance, this means toddler look-and-find books. He will not listen to anything story-based right now.

5) Rock in his big red chair for 10 minutes or so while listening to U2 or Led Zeppelin lullaby CD.

6) Tell him it's time to get into bed. He then pushes me backwards to try to keep me in the chair: "Nooo, no bed. Rock, Mama! ROCK!"

7) Rock for two more minutes, then insist he get into bed. Cover him with a blanket, give him a kiss, say "I love you," and hightail it out of the room as quickly as possible before he can untangle himself from the blanket and catch up with me.

8) Dash down the stairs as he flings open his door, rattles the gate, sobbing "MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!"

9) Listen to the wailing until he decides he may as well shut up and go to sleep. Hopefully only two to five minutes.

10) When I head up to bed several hours later, check to see if he's asleep at his door or if he actually made it back to his bed.

I just don't get the racing-after-me step in this process. Why waste a perfectly good sense of sleepiness when he knows I'm not coming back? I do know why though. He wants to be rocked to sleep or for me to sit there while he goes to sleep. No way, bud. I've spent too, too many hours walking, jiggling, snuggling, and rocking you to sleep in the last three years. I'm done. Time to man up and go to sleep on your own. I know you can do it. I've seen you do it. So just do it.

I failed ...

... my one-hour glucose test. Ugh.

I didn't pass it when pregnant with Kiddle either. That time I got through the long version ok, but I wouldn't be terribly surprised if I end up on the gestational diabetes route this time. Annoying, but at least it would force me to clean up my diet. I've been on a serious sugar binge the last month or so.

So it's the three-hour, multiple-blood-samples version for me this Friday (which, by the way, is the first of my every-two-weeks appointments). Good thing the phlebotomist at my OB's office rocks!

Two Cool Things

At last, Kiddle is tall enough to completely reach the pedals on his tricycle. Now he's just got to grasp the concept of steering.

***


We FINALLY have an indoor playspace near us.* And it's fantastic. The best part for Kiddle at this age is the huge jungle gym. We went this morning and he spent most of our visit climbing and sliding. It also has a bunch of imagination playrooms: a workshop, grocery store, 50s diner, beauty shop, ballet studio, and more. Kiddle's pretend play skills haven't really kicked in yet (and I'm not sure he has that gene considering he's a product of me and Mr. P), so those rooms aren't particularly interesting to him yet. Unless, of course, spinning in a circle with a grocery cart and gazing at himself on the live video feed in the High School Musical room is what you'd call "interested." But that will just give us more to explore as he gets older.

* Hello, we live in the Northeast! It's cold here! You'd think there would be a ton of places like this around us, but no. All the ones that are somewhat appropriate for a two-year-old are at least 45 minutes away. I'm always so jealous when I go to Oklahoma because it seems like there's so many more options. So I'm thrilled to have somewhere new and clean and fun.

I plead the fifth.

Kiddle might have fifth disease.

His preschool teacher brought it up today when I picked him up. She became concerned because his cheeks got really red at one point today (major symptom), she heard that a kid in another class has it, and she knows I'm pregnant.

I just don't remember this being around when I was a kid (and neither does my mom), but what do I know? So here's what I learned today:

• Also called "slapped cheek" disease because they get bright red cheeks.
• Can develop a rash on the rest of the body too.
• Usually starts as what seems like a mild cold: runny nose, low-grade fever.
• Only contagious during the "cold" period. When the rash shows up, they're no longer contagious.
• Once you've had it, you're immune to it.

Kiddle had a fresh runny nose start almost two weeks ago. He might have had a slight fever one morning, but I never could get a good thermometer read and one round of Motrin knocked it out, if it was really there at all. He definitely had some serious red cheeks and redness around the mouth starting last Monday, but he always has rosy cheeks so I didn't really think much of it. I just thought they were extra chapped from all the snot he was smearing all over his face. No rash on his body (that I noticed anyway, but that's a whole other bad-mom post). So at this point it's really impossible to tell if he's had it since his symptoms aren't blatant, unless we did blood work ... and I'm not going down that path! For an extra dash of irony, we were at the pediatrician last Monday (the first day of his red cheeks) for other reasons, and apparently it didn't cross her mind either.

But here's the kicker. You DON'T want to get it if you're pregnant. If you transmit it to your baby, especially during the first half of your pregnancy, it can cause serious anemia and be fatal for the baby. Yikes! But, there's about a 50% chance I'm already immune to it and, since I'm at six months, it's less of a worry for the baby. My OB did have me come in today for blood work, just to see what's going on. They can tell if I'm already immune or if I've been recently exposed, so I'll just have to wait for the test to come back.

Oh, the joys of childhood illnesses! I do wish I had a good picture of his neon cheeks last week. You would all be horrified. In hindsight, maybe I should have been too.

Chariots of Fire: The Toddler Years

I think I broke my kid today.

He had a playdate at our house with a preschool friend. When her mom dropped her off, I said we would just walk Mia home later because it was such a beautiful day out.

Mia doesn't live too far from us; basically just up the street a few blocks. Kiddle and Mia ended up running the entire way there. I must have said "on your mark, get set, go!" one hundred times along the way. Normally I'd take the stroller, as a backup, but didn't this time since I had both kids. Several times I mentioned to Kiddle he could walk, but his reply was always, "NO ... I RUNNING!" Alrighty then.

On the way back he was so wiped out, I wasn't sure he was going to make it home without passing out in someone's yard. Of course, he kept saying, "I KIY YOU," which translates to "I'll carry you," which means YOU carry ME.

Only on the downhills, babe. I'm six months pregnant and you weigh 30 pounds.

I did carry him for a bit and I really did think he had gone to sleep. He was so still and so snuggled into my neck. Until we passed a cat, and I heard him mutter, "LOOK, KIY CAT." Down you go, bud.

When we got home he was a complete blithering idiot. Every single interaction we had was filled with sobbing hysterics.

"Want to watch Zoboomafoo while I get lunch ready?"
"NOOO .... PINGU. PINGU!"
"No Pingu right now. If you don't want to watch Zoboomafoo, then let's have some cottage cheese."
"NO CODGE CHEESE! ZABOO. ZABOO!"
He watches TV for a bit, has a complete meltdown when I sit him at the table, until he digs into his cottage cheese with gusto. (I should probably point out that feeding him cottage cheese is not a punishment ... rather, it's the mainstay of his diet.)
"All done? Ok, time to go upstairs to rest."
"NOOO! NO UPSTAIRS! NO NA! NO RES! MO CODGE CHEESE! PINGU! NO NA!!!"
This diatribe continues as I carry his kicking, writhing body up the stairs to my room and attempt to change his diaper.
"NO DIPEY! NO DIPEY! DOWNSTAIRS! NO NA!"

Ten minutes later, he's sound asleep in my bed and takes a two hour nap for the first time in weeks. I had the hardest time not laughing at him because he was just so fried. I'm not sure that I've ever seen him that tired in the middle of the day.

Oh, and I finally checked the distance my two-year-old ran/walked/stumbled: one mile round trip. Turns out Mia's house isn't quite as close as I thought. Whoops!

He won't talk, but he can spell.

Perhaps Kiddle misses his Ahdah (my dad)?

Pacifier No More

Kiddle seems to have weathered the end of his pacifier shockingly well.

His last silicone pacifier was tattered to the point that it annoyed him. (He kept manipulating my hands to squeeze the ends together, telling me it's BOKEN and to FIH-IH.) So I trimmed off the jagged parts. Then it really bothered him. But not as much as the alternate choice of a fully-formed latex pacifier.

He pushed on through his annoyance for several days, just so he had something in his mouth while falling asleep. But the last few nights he hasn't even asked for it. It's sitting, rather forlornly, on the ledge in his room. Of course, it's probably helped that he's had a massive cold the last 10 days and can't really breathe through his nose. But I'll take whatever advantage I can get in this process.

.

***

I'm finding that Kiddle is remarkably more adaptable than I anticipate with lots of things. I don't read a lot of child development info because it usually makes me feel like a worse mom than I already do, but it seems like most of what I do read emphasizes helping ease them through whatever transition they happen to be in -- giving up a pacifier, moving to a big kid bed, potty training. (And, lord knows, I am not self-sacrificing enough to do much of the advice. Sleep in a sleeping bag next to their bed ... as if.)

Yet he seems rather unfazed by most things. (Although the worst transition of his short little life, for me anyway, was when we finally let him cry-it-out just before he was a year old. Two weeks of complete and utter hell. And he still doesn't really sleep through the night.) I thought giving up his pacifier would be traumatic and heartbreaking, but he's getting through it just fine. Although I'm sure the first time I don't worry and stress over the approach to a new phase in his life all hell will break loose.

Or will it?

Happy Birthday to Me!

My favourite way to spend my birthday ... a relaxing, yummy dinner with my funny, beautiful friends. Extra birthday bonus? A certain two-year-old at home with Uncle Matty and Aunt Erin. (And if only I could have left the in vitro one behind as well. I miss alcohol! And rare tuna!)

Thanks to Belinda, Denny, Brian and Chrissy for sharing an evening with me. And thanks to Mr. P for putting it all together. You're the best!

All I want for my birthday ...

... is a damn pizza.

It's been a rather dull, bordering-on-the-depressing birthday day. OB appointment with a glucose test. Planned to go home and do some yoga before picking up Kiddle at school. But his teacher called while I was waiting to have my blood drawn and basically said he was disgustingly snotty, please come get him. Scratch the yoga.

Mr. P had to drive to Connecticut today, but thought he'd be home by 6:00. I called to check on his progress at 5:40 and learned he was up by Woodbury Commons -- a solid hour from here, longer during the evening rush. And he still has to go by the office. Scratch dinner and him putting the kid to bed.

I perked up a bit when I decided to order myself a stuffed-crust pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut. Something I love, but rarely get because Mr. P has the typical New Yorker's disdain for chain pizza places. But then I found out they can't deliver right now. Scratch the pizza.

So I'll have to settle for a few spoonfuls of chocolate frosting right out of the jar. Yum.

***

Before you think this is the saddest birthday ever, there is some celebrating in the works. Dinner in the city tomorrow. Somewhere, with some people is all I know. I do know it's not somewhere horribly fancy because I'd hate to have to think beyond my mom clothes when I get dressed to go. (And confirmed by a friend (thank you Belinda!), because I can't totally trust Mr. P's assessment of appropriate attire.) And on Sunday, Mr. P is taking me to "The Importance of Being Earnest" at a local theater (that I haven't been to since before I moved to New York). AND he arranged all the necessary babysitting for Kiddle.

So it will be a great birthday weekend. BirthDAY, however, a bit blah.

"I kill you."

I've been hoping I could get this on video ... and we finally caught it tonight. Kiddle often tells me he's going to tickle me. But it sounds like he is saying he's going to kill me. Tickle? Kill? Slight difference, I suppose.



Next video goal: he finally has two songs in his repertoire (What can I say? The chance of any musical ability in this family is somewhere between slim and none). Old MacDonald and Wheels on the Bus. He completely butchers both of them, but it's adorable. Hopefully I can capture a session before his skills improve.

The Final 100 Days.

Of this pregnancy. Or, hopefully, the Final 90 Days if I get my wish of May 4th instead of May 14th.

And sometime in the last week I've crossed the line from mostly-forgetting-that-I'm-pregnant over to always-knowing-that-I'm-pregnant. And that could have something to do with the fact that I think I've finally gained some weight. (Not for lack of trying.) I've got a doctor's appointment on Thursday (glucose test ... yuck) and I think it might be a bit scary. The couple of pounds I'd gained were lost during the Great Barf-Off of 2009, but that was probably a bit of a false loss. All I know is I'm avoiding the scale until then.

I've got major urge to buy new baby things, too. I keep reminding myself that Kiddle had WAY TOO MUCH STUFF, but it's hard. A big goal for this week is to get out the 0-3 and 3-6 month stuff and go through it, so I can either nip this urge in the bud or give myself permission to get a few things. (Although I've already given in a bit. Don't tell anyone.)

I hate winter.

Kiddle is going to turn into a TV. Any minute now, I swear.

This winter sucks. Last year was all about finding fun indoor things to do. This winter we've been stuck in the house way too much because he's pretty much been sick since the day we got back from the holidays in Oklahoma. If he can't go to school, he probably shouldn't go play at the mall, right?

The latest thing? He started with a fresh, disgusting cold on Friday that morphed into the croup last night. He's had an almost-constant cough since the beginning of December, but this was the first time it's been in his chest. Poor thing was miserable. It's so hard to watch because there's just not much you can do for them at the age of two.

So it's the two of us. In the house. All day. And Lord knows I'm not the patient, arts-and-crafts type of mom. To top it all off, for some unknown reason all the Pingu episodes disappeared off OnDemand this weekend. I might have to kill myself. Godspeed, O Pingu DVD I ordered on Amazon this weekend. Godspeed.

Kiddle peed on the potty!

Yay Kiddle!

His friend LK, who is very proud of her big girl underwear, was over for a playdate this afternoon. Her potty training is going well, but she's still in the stage that you need to put her on the potty every half hour or so. This, of course, meant Kiddle had to sit on the potty too.

Now, sitting on the potty is nothing new. He loves to do it so he can flush the toilet. But today was the first time he's actually produced some pee while sitting there. Way to go! Hopefully it was a bit of a light bulb moment ... but I'm not holding my breath. We're still a lonnnggg way from potty training.

More Pingu?

No! No more Pingu!

It was a very odd day. Usually Kiddle is trying to prevent me from doing whatever I need to get done. ("Mama, mama! Sit, sit, sit!") Today was the opposite. I was trying to lure him into a variety of wholesome, non-televised activities -- crayons, cars, animals in his barn -- while he was demanding more episodes of Pingu. And by demanding, I mean sobbing hysterically every time I said, no, no more Pingu.

Of course, we're watching it through On Demand so there are only five episodes available. At 15 minutes a pop. And we watched every single one of them, more than once.

Thankfully, Mr. P was home this afternoon and took him off my hands for a couple of hours. And he's got preschool in the morning, so we just might survive another day.

Meep meep!

No more pacifier?

So I had this plan.

Throw away his pacifiers as they disintegrate, until they're all gone. Then no more pacifier. Simple, right?

Now that the moment is almost here I find myself waffling. He's always been an intensely oral kid -- he came out of the womb with his hands in his mouth -- and I went the pacifier route to avoid thumb sucking. He loves his pacifier and would still have it 24/7 if I let him. But, he's been quite cooperative about only using it for sleeping and even willingly leaves it in his room when we go downstairs in the morning.

I'm feeling conflicted though about taking it away from him so close to the baby's arrival. Is it better just to let him keep it until we've all adjusted to the new kid? Assuming the baby takes a pacifier, will Kiddle be intensely jealous and try to yank it out of the baby's mouth? Or will it be even worse to try to eliminate it a few months after the baby is around? ARGH! I'm not sure what to do.

I asked on my local moms' message board and of course got the wide range of answers I expected. Do it now. Don't do it now. Go cold turkey. Cut a little more off the pacifier each day until he doesn't want it anymore. Give them to the pacifier fairy for new babies. Focus on what a big boy he is now. Let him do a build-a-bear to replace the pacifier. The problem is I don't think he'll fall for the pacifier fairy, he isn't particularly interested in being a big boy, and he's never been that attached to any one thing for any length of time -- except his pacifier.

So I guess I have to trust my instincts (!!) and stick with the original plan. He's on his last silicone pacifier -- already completely shredded -- and I have one latex pacifier as a backup. He hates the latex, so I'll offer him that one after the silicone one is done and perhaps he'll just stop using it.

It won't be too traumatic, right?

Gulp.

It's REALLY all over now ...

He climbed over the gate to his room last night during our hour-and-a-half screaming, sobbing mama-please-rock-me-to-sleep battle. If I can't at least contain him when needed? Lord help me.

Edited to add: I finally realized he was not climbing over the gate, thank goodness. It's one of the tension-mounted gates and the bottom had come loose, which affected how the locking mechanism worked, which meant he could work the gate open. Easy to fix so now he's back to being trapped.

Do green bean fries at TGIFriday's count as a vegetable?

It's been almost exactly one year since Kiddle willingly ate a vegetable. Seriously.

He used to eat mixed vegetables by the handful, but that all came to an end during a visit to my parents last February. He projectile vomited his last meal (in the middle of the night, in the middle of my bed) which was -- you guessed it -- mixed veggies. And that was the last time he touched anything green. (Although I suppose I can't really blame the stomach virus entirely. It certainly didn't dampen his enthusiasm for blueberries -- the other half of that lovely nocturnal concoction.)

In all honesty, I'm a completely lazy cook, and I get really annoyed when I make (ok, assemble or warm up) something that doesn't get eaten. So I haven't particularly forced the issue. Yay multi-vitamins!

Imagine my surprise last night when I finally guilted myself into making some veggies for him ... and he willingly ate two spoonfuls! It's a new day!

I hope.

Can't we just start at three months?

So I had lunch in the city yesterday with one of my old co-workers who is now a SAHM with a five-month old little boy. He's at that great age where he's totally connected to the world around him -- but isn't mobile yet. He's just too, too adorable and reminded me once more that I'm dreading having a newborn again.

Now, don't get me wrong; I'm thrilled about this new kid. But I've never been a big newborn fan. I know some people say they're so cuddly and sweet and that they luuuvvv fresh, new little babies. But I mostly just see a gelatinous blob with no personality.

They're so much better when they hit three or four months, have a little structure to their bodies and can truly interact with you.

It's also a bit overwhelming to think about all the new baby paraphernalia and extreme dependence. As Kiddle has matured from a baby to a toddler and soon into a preschooler, I enjoy him more every day. And we've moved past so many things. Things that I'm about to revisit ... diaper bags, and heavy infant carriers, and strollers, and spit up, and super frequent feedings, and unfathomable crying.

Another thing I'm curious about is to see how quickly I bond with the new baby. With Kiddle, it took two months. Same for Mr. P. Until then we thought he was really cool and wanted to keep him, but neither of us were madly in love with him for a while. ("The first second I saw him, my heart exploded and I was instantly in love." Um, no.) We each had a similar experience with Kiddle at about two months where he smiled and locked eyes with us for what seemed like eons. That was the moment I fell completely in love. (Apparently it still gets me a little teary. Awww!) But I sense with the new baby it might be a little easier to make that connection sooner.

This time we already know just how much we can love a little peanut.

"Oh no. The bridge is out. I fix it!"

Yes, two complete, understandable (at least by me) sentences in a row. Yee haw! So it seems we're making a bit of progress on the language front. Finally. I swear this kid is never going to talk (... although if I hear "Mama, Mama, sit sit sit!" one more time ... argh!). I know, I know, he'll definitely talk one day and I'll wish for his silent days.

***

I did have a good touch-base convo with his speech therapist this week though. One thing we've never done -- because no one thinks it's truly a concern -- is have his hearing checked. I mean, I know he can hear just fine, but he still has such a mush mouth, it's gotten me thinking that maybe he's not hearing the same things we are. And his therapist said, yes, go ahead and get it checked, but she doesn't see any indications that we'll find anything wrong there. She still thinks he is just simply delayed in his speech. So that's a bit of good news, I suppose.

However ... at this point I don't really see the therapy really doing much good. And that's simply because Mr. Independent has yet to see the point of doing what his therapist wants to do. He'd rather just play with the toys and chat a bit. Great. Glad he's happy to be there. But it's a really expensive hour of playtime. Ronnie said that's fairly typical of his age -- after all, he's only two -- and hopefully one day soon he'll grasp what we're trying to accomplish there.

Aside from the fact that he does not have a people-pleaser bone in his body, I think a big part of his slow progress is that he's not that frustrated yet. He gets along just fine in the world and there have only been a few times he's gotten really mad at me for not understanding what he wants. (The full day of "I-AN, I-AN, I-AN!!" comes to mind. Several hours later ... Me: "Oh, you want to watch the Mystery Island episode of Word World?" Kiddle, with a big grin of relief: "I-AN!")

***

Another adorable interaction we often have:

Kiddle, on all fours, crawling about the room: "Moo. Moo. Moo!"
Me: "Oh, you must be a cow today."
Kiddle: "No, Mama. I a Kiddle!"

Hee hee.

This is either ...

A. a brilliant way for Kiddle to burn off some stuck-in-the-house-because-it's-20-degrees-outside energy

B. I'm treating my kid like a hamster.

You decide.

Okay!

It seems like I've mostly been noting the anomalies about Kiddle lately, so I wanted to make sure I recognize some of our favourite things that happen on a daily basis. Most of them revolve around funny conversations we have -- his speech has improved, but is still not very understandable.

He used to tug on my hand and say a mangled combination of "go" and "come." And I'd always say "Go where?" So now he tugs on me and says, "Go where, Mama."

He loves to bump into me on purpose and say, "Sorry!"

When you ask him to do something, he says, "Okay, I try it!"

And our favourite ... Kiddle: "Cookie." Me: "You want a cookie?" (trying to clarify what he just said.) Kiddle: "Okay!"

What a great manipulator.

Damn kid locked me out of the house today.

In the freezing rain. Without a coat. Without a cell phone.

As I was unloading groceries from the car, he managed to lock the screen door. And no matter how many times I said, "turn the white knob, turn the white knob, turn the white knob ...," he couldn't figure out how to open the door.

Thank God that after living in this house for almost five years, I finally gave my neighbor a set of keys -- two weeks ago, believe it or not.

Well, goodnight then.

Tonight Kiddle PUT HIMSELF TO BED.

Well, not really. I'm sure he thinks he's just taking a nap. But little does he know ... he's in for the night. He's developed a habit of going upstairs to hang out in his room with his pacifier whenever he needs a little break. So tonight around 6:00, instead of eating dinner, I heard him head up the stairs. Fine with me. Chill out all you need, kid.

But about 15 minutes later I realized it was eerily quiet up there. I went up to check on him and found him passed out on his bed -- lights on, pants off. I gave him a dose of Zyrtec, put some pants on him, added a blanket and turned out the light.

So it's 6:30 and my kid's asleep. Woo hoo! Although I know I'll be paying for it when he wakes up after his "nap" in two hours or, alternatively, at 4:00 in the morning. Either way, I'll take it.

It's official.

I'm a complete and total mess.

Stomach virus, pregnancy-related congestion that's turning thick and tasty, and now ... Fat Man Ear.

And what, pray tell, is Fat Man Ear, you say?

Well, this is my normal right ear and cheek:


And this is what my left ear and cheek looked like this morning when I woke up:


Attractive, isn't it? I also have hives on the palms of my hands. The cause? Mr. P and I split a can of chicken noodle soup last night for dinner. Trying to be nice to our troubled tummies, you know. And canned soup often contains MSG. I've got a history of reactions to too much MSG -- for instance, overdosing on flavored chips or Chex Mix -- but half a can of soup? Ridiculous. It's actually happened one other time during this pregnancy, so I can only assume I'm super sensitive to it right now. Again, ridiculous.

I'm off to take an antihistamine.

Happy Freaking New Year (or, the Great Barf-Off of 2009)

I knew he wasn't right.

He hadn't eaten for two days. He had a really bad night last night. Sobbing for Mama, crying out intermittently, clinging to me like I was his last hope. But ... no concrete evidence that would have allowed me to cancel our flight this morning. No fever, no vomiting, no diarrhea. Nada.

Until five minutes after we took off and he started throwing up.

Freshly digested milk.

On a tiny regional jet.

Joy.

Yep, he alternated barfing and sleeping for the entire three-hour flight. We were both covered in puke. And then I started sobbing uncontrollably when I realized I'd left all his DVDs at my parents' house (love those pregnancy hormones!). I felt bad for the people around us, but not as bad as I felt for Kiddle. He was miserable, poor thing. And I felt like such a loser of a mom for knowing something wasn't right and still getting on the plane.

But also perversely pleased that at least I wasn't going to have to get my couch and rugs cleaned again. Small blessings, right?

A bad influence already

Cooper introduces Kiddle to the comedic stylings of Tom & Jerry:

Merry Christmas!

Happy Holidays from Oklahoma!

We arrived late last night after an already busy week of celebrating.

Monday: Mr. P's family came over for dinner and to exchange gifts. Kiddle doesn't yet grasp the concept of Christmas, but he certainly got into the idea of opening presents.

Tuesday: Kiddle's Hanukkah party at preschool. Shockingly he actually tried a potato latke, even though he was mostly interested in sucking the applesauce off it.


Wednesday morning: Santa came a day early to our house. Kiddle came down the stairs and saw all his gifts laid out: "Wow. Wow. Wow." Too cute. He also thought getting gifts out of his stocking was pretty cool. One item was a tiny Slinky in a box. He pulled it out and said, "Oooh, a box. A box." It's the simple things at that age, isn't it?


Wednesday afternoon: I finally packed and we headed out to brave the crowds at Newark airport. And it was a total disaster, as expected. We totally thought we were in the clear for our 3:00 flight -- unlike everyone else in the terminal, snicker, snicker -- until they announced at 2:15 that our plane hadn't yet left Halifax. Um, you didn't know that a little earlier? We finally got out of there sometime after 7:00. Six hours in an ultra-crowded airport with a two-year-old? So much Christmas cheer.

Needless to say we were thrilled to finally get here. We had our traditional white-trash Christmas morning breakfast of monkey bread, bacon wraps and sausage balls -- yum! And Kiddle and Cooper opened one million more presents. It's hard to say, but I think his favourite gift might just be his Cars Mack truck/race car launcher. Pretty cool.

And introducing ...

... the newest, extra-little kiddle.

19 weeks and 4 days. Right on target, size-wise. And has all his fingers, toes and body parts. We couldn't have asked for a better report.

And that's right ... I said HIS. Kiddle's getting a baby brother. I'll admit there's a tiny twinge of oh-I-won't-ever-have-a-girl-itis, but mostly I'm somewhat relieved.

And my favourite part of this ultrasound? I had to schedule my appointment on a day the doctor would be there, because I'm of "advanced maternal age." Lovely.

What are you doing? Are you PEEING?

Remember how fascinated with the Christmas tree I said Kiddle was? Apparently he felt the need to mark his territory.

Snow, Part II

Ok, here's the first real snow of the year. And what better time to get your tricycle out?

I feel like such a responsible parent for finally getting him some real snow boots. No more snow-filled, frozen-toed rainboots for him! Now I've just got to work on some waterproof pants, I think.

Oh Christmas Tree ...

Finally got the tree up today. I seriously thought about doing it Thanksgiving weekend, so of course here we are on December 19th. It turned out to be the perfect day to do it though. We we're absolutely slammed by a snow storm this morning. I went to the mall just as it was starting to snow and when I came out 45 minutes later there were already several inches on the ground. It took an hour and a half to make the 10 minute drive home. Crazy! So we took Kiddle's babysitter home early and snugged in for the afternoon to get the tree up.

Kiddle was fascinated by the whole process and did a great job hanging ornaments. The battle this year isn't going to be over taking ornaments off and on; it's about turning the lights off and on. I see a zillion time-outs in his near future.

Boy or girl? Yes!

Next Monday is my full anatomy ultrasound, and hopefully we'll be able to find out the sex of this new kiddo. Although I'm not certain "we" will find out because I'm not sure if Mr. P wants to know.* But I definitely do ... I'm too much of a planner to let it be a surprise.

My sister asked me the other day if I had a feeling one way or the other. If I base it on comparing the two pregnancies, I'd say boy. This pregnancy is exactly like my first one so far, but I'm also smart enough to know that doesn't mean squat. (We were so convinced my friend Chrissy was having a girl the second time that I went out and bought her girl clothes. Nope. An even bigger boy than the first one.) But I find myself mentally referring to the baby as "her" -- and with Kiddle it was always "him."

I guess I don't really have any strong preferences one way or the other. Before Kiddle I only saw myself having girls, but now I find myself waffling.

GIRL PROS: much cuter clothes, the relationship with a girl is just totally different than with a boy, my parents would have a granddaughter instead of only grandsons.

GIRL CONS: the teenage years, it seems scarier to raise a girl in this day and age than it does a boy, and, oh God, will I have to play house and dress-up and dolls?

BOY PROS: I already have all the clothes, I'm used to boys now, Kiddle will have a brother -- and I so appreciate that I have a sister.

BOY CONS: I won't ever have a daughter. Or the cute clothes that go with her.

Of course, the baby has to actually cooperate at the ultrasound. Kiddle was all legs splayed, check me out, look at my boy stuff. So no doubt there. We'll see if this one is as open or plays it a little coy.

* Funny story actually. With Kiddle, Mr. P wasn't sure if he wanted to know so we decided he would leave the room during that portion of the ultrasound. Now, we never really thought we'd make it four more months without him finding out, but that it would be fun to see how long we could go.

As it turns out -- four days.

Mr. P's sister got married that weekend and during dinner one of his relatives asked me if we had decided on a name. "Oh yes," I replied, "it's (insert obvious boy name here)," with so much certainty that I couldn't even cover by adding "if it's a boy and Blah Blah if it's a girl." The table got deathly quiet as everyone realized what I had done. And Mr. P got the biggest smile on his face. More from glee that I had busted myself so quickly, I think, than from happiness that it was a boy. And I promptly burst into tears.

Now, as a pregnant chick, I wasn't particularly hormonal. I didn't cry every day, or over tiny things, like some of my friends have. But if I got started crying, I simply couldn't stop. Mr. P finally had to lead me by the hand, blindly blubbering, out of the reception. And it took a good 20 minutes for me to stop sobbing. In the end though I was glad he found out from me, rather than from one of the 8 trillion people who already knew. I would have missed seeing the look on his face if someone else had slipped up. But, damn that glass of wine at dinner! Four days? That's all it took?

First snow of the year

Well, the first one that (kind of) amounted to anything anyway. And, if you believe the weather forecasters, it sounds like we're in for it later this week.

The Great Barf-Off of 2008

Lovely day we've had here. I can sum it up by saying I've already scheduled Stanley Steemer to come over on Monday. If you can handle the detail, read on.

One of the downsides of having a non-talking two-year-old is that they can't tell you what's wrong when they don't feel good. I knew Kiddle seemed off this morning but I didn't know what was bothering him until I gave him his morning milk ... and he projectile vomited it all over the couch and oriental rug five minutes later.

And then on the dining room rug. And back to the couch and living room rug. And of course with a trail of puke across the hardwood floor as we tried to get him to the kitchen. And let me tell you, milk curdles awfully quickly after ingestion. Gross.

So my house smells like barf. I've done multiple loads of laundry. And my kid is begging me for a cracker in between episodes of WordWorld.

But I'll have a clean couch on Monday! And, trust me, it's long overdue thanks to peanut butter hands and leaking sippy cups.

Nap? I don't need no stinkin' nap!

No, no. Those aren't dark circles under my eyes. I'm fine. Great, in fact. No time for sleeping. I need that hour and a half to destroy my room every day. So much stuff, so little time.

Dream a little dream

I'm so tired of crazy pregnancy dreams.* Every night I have these long, very detailed, ultra stressful dreams. They aren't dreams about the baby or delivery, but are crazy scenarios that bring in people and details from my life that I haven't thought about in a million years. I don't remember having them so early in my pregnancy last time and it seems like they went on for a long time, so I don't really see an end in sight. Argh!

There were a couple of themes last night. Can't remember the first one now, but the second one had to do with my college boyfriend. Something about surprising him at his parents house with my best friend from high school. I don't think I was married and pregnant at the start of the dream, but by the end I sure was.

It's not too surprising that he's appearing though. I recently discovered he lives in the Denver area, so he's been on my mind. I haven't spoken to him in almost 12 years (and the last conversation we had wasn't particularly a good one), but I think if this move happens I'm going to call him. Unfortunately for him, he's a traffic reporter at a local radio station so he's pretty easy to find. It's not so much that I want him back in my life, but I'm definitely curious about him (did he ever get married? kids? is he happy?). And our relationship was, to put it mildly, a significant one, so I kind of feel like I should warn him I'm around. You KNOW he's the first person I'll randomly run into on the street. ("Oh, hi. Didn't mean to startle you there ... ").

Anyway, I wish there was some magic remedy -- other than having this baby -- that would stop these dreams. I know I'd be a lot better rested.

* What?! You're pregnant? Did I miss that little piece of news? Click here.

Looks like we're moving ...

... to Colorado.

Where do I start? Mr. P's company bought another company in Boulder. He's been out there four days a week since mid-October leading the integration of the two companies, with the intention of eventually moving there permanently to run the day-to-day operations. However, the partners out there are having trouble stepping back (at all) and have been giving Mr. P a really hard time ... behind his back, to make it worse. He's been very discouraged and feeling a bit abandoned by his boss, so the move was looking less and less likely every day.

But he had a good conversation with his boss last night, so it seems the move is back on. Not a done deal yet, but we're committed enough that his boss plans to start the ball rolling with HR and the relocation people.

And how do I feel about this?

Bittersweet. I finally have lovely friends here and am feeling a bit more connected to the town. Kiddle is loving preschool and has sweet little friends. The town and homes here are absolutely adorable and I know I'll have a hard time finding something similar elsewhere. And while we don't see Mr. P's family very much, at least they're accessible, and it's great to spend time on the Jersey shore in the summers.

Stressed. I've gotten a lot of work done on the house this fall, knowing that this move was a possibility, but I still have a bathroom to deal with before we can put our house on the market. (And it's our only tub/shower, so hello neighbors! I'll be over every couple of days to de-stink.) And if I'm understanding the relo package correctly, we do have an option of the company buying our house if it doesn't sell but that's only after a "reasonable" time on the market, which I think means 90-120 days. So, say, we get the house on the market mid-January, that means our earliest possible time to have a definite contract is probably mid-April, unless by a miracle it sells right away. Which is a dim hope in this economy.

And did I mention I'm having a baby in May?! If I follow pregnancy rules, I'll need to be in Colorado by the end of March, assuming I don't have any complications between now and then. (At least that way I won't have to keep my house clean for showings. I can just stage it and leave town.) So I might be having this kid while living in Mr. P's corporate apartment. Joy. And I'll also need to find a preschool for Kiddle and a new OB for me. My to-do list is going to be three miles long. As will Mr. P's -- who's only here three days a week.

Excited. When I moved to New York, I always assumed I'd move back West at some point. Then I met my Queens-bred husband and pretty much gave up that idea. Which I was fine with ... there are definite advantages to living in the NYC area. But there were two places I always said I'd move to without hesitation -- Austin and Denver. So it's absolutely incredible that we have the opportunity to move to Boulder, and on the company's dime. And as much as I love living in this area, the truth is that I'm a child of the suburbs. The town we're in now is a good blend of the city and suburbs, but I relish the idea of more space and lower taxes and fewer people. New Jersey is the most densely populated state in the country -- which is saying a lot because most of the state is decidedly unpopulated.

Kiddle and I went out to visit a few weeks ago and spent most of the trip driving around, looking at different areas. Unfortunately, Boulder is out. It's a lovely town, but housing is not affordabe, even compared to here. We don't want to sacrifice more living space for location. At this point, we're focused on three neighborhoods in the surrounding area. One thing I discovered is that while I know I prefer the look of homes built before 1940 and pretty much anything after that makes me cry, I actually like what they're building out there in the last 5 years. So it looks like we're going to aim for something new (or at least new-ish).

Of course, this might all change tomorrow! But it's sounding much more definite now than it has in weeks. Wish me luck!

Preschool Update

It's a trend! He happily runs into school now, and I even got a "bye mama" today. Woo hoo!

Parent-Teacher conferences are coming up week after next. I'm so curious to hear what they have to say. At least I haven't gotten a question in his notebook like another parent received: "How is Jack's socialization with other kids?" Yikes! I'm going with the no-news-is-good-news approach.

Three words in a row!

Finally! I heard a very clear three-word sentence out of Kiddle last night. He went upstairs to get his Word World cow and a few minutes later I heard him saying, "Where cow go? Where cow go?" as clear as day. Way to go Kiddle!

What? Aren't you going to miss me?

A big step forward for Kiddle today ... for the very first time he didn't cry when I dropped him off at preschool. Lord, that only took two months of twice weekly meltdowns. I have my fingers crossed for Thursday. Let's hope it's a trend, and not a one-time anomaly.

It's all over now ...

Lord help me. Kiddle can climb out of his crib.

The first time was yesterday after his nap and I happened to be in the room. Then this morning I heard him wake up around 7:00 ... and a few seconds later came toddling into our room.

Actually it's shocking that he hasn't done it earlier. The kid can climb anything. And I've seen him pull up on his knees on the crib rail to get something off the bookshelf next to his bed. So it's really not a surprise -- but something I was hoping to put off as long as possible. I think I'll leave his bed as is this week while Mr. P is away, then take the side off when he gets back.

I see long evenings of putting the kid back to bed 41 zillion times in my very near future.

I found the key to his motivation.

Kiddle has never willingly participated in a diaper change in his life. That's not to say that he always resists a change, but I've certainly never been able to say, "Come over here so I can change your diaper," without him running the other way or at least ignoring me.

However ... tonight we were at B&N and Kiddle was playing with the Thomas train set. I caught a whiff of some serious stinky butt and said, "Kiddle, I need you put down the trains so we can go to the bathroom and change your diaper. We'll come back and play more when we're done."

Do you know what that little varmit did? He immediately laid down on the floor next to the train table -- still clutching a train car in each grubby little hand -- as if to say, "Go ahead. Change me right here." Um, sorry bud. Nice try.

Second day of preschool ...

and as suspected it was a bit worse than the first day. Kiddle started yelling NOOOO as soon as I pulled into the parking lot and it took him about 15 minutes to stop crying once I left. He was great out on the playground, but started crying again when they came inside. He was crying when he got to me. Argh.

I spoke to the director for a few minutes after class. She was basically wondering if it was ok with me if his teachers ignored him rather than trying to comfort him. YES! He doesn't know them so holding him is probably making it worse, plus he can be a bit dramatic (related to my mom and sister, perhaps?), so letting him work it out himself is most likely the best course of action.

My fingers are crossed hoping for some improvement next week.

Ahoy Matey!

Well, this afternoon was much better than the morning. Here's Kiddle and Little K dressed up as a pirate and Super Bunny. Guess who's the pirate?

First day of preschool ...

and I wish I had a better report. Lots of crying unfortunately.

I had hoped it would go smoothly. Last Tuesday we got together seven of the nine kids in his class for a playdate at the park. And on Thursday we went to an open house at the school so Kiddle could see his classroom and meet his teachers. He did well at the open house (I was in the room with him), but today he cried when I dropped him off and an hour later when they brought the kids up to where we were waiting, I could hear him wailing the entire way. Poor Kiddle.

But he didn't cry the entire time, at least. Laurie said he stopped within a few minutes and settled in with some markers, but he did have a hard time when they transitioned from one activity to another. And then when they got the kids' stuff together to bring them upstairs to us, he completely freaked out. I'm sure he thought they were taking him somewhere without me.

So hopefully he will react better on Thursday. But I suspect it might be worse because then he'll know I'm leaving him there. I'm not really surprised by all this; he's never been dropped off before and he's also in an intense stranger anxiety phase right now. We continue the gradual phase-in process for a couple of weeks. Thursday the kids are only there for an hour again. Next week is longer while we also add valet drop-off and pick-up (although somehow I doubt he'll react well to someone reaching into the car to take him! I'll probably be walking him in for awhile), then we're finally up to the full three hours in the third week. Six hours a week to myself! Woo hoo!

Mush Mouth

Big week ahead! Today was Kiddle's first speech therapy session and tomorrow is his first day at preschool.

I had him evaluated just before we went to Oklahoma. While he's had quite an explosion of new words in the last couple of months and he's finally consistently attempting to mimic what I say, he's just not understandable by anyone except me. And I can't understand him when he says something out of context. He hasn't seemed terribly frustrated so far. Mostly, I think, because his three best words -- more, done and no -- cover a wide range of situations. The therapist we met with in July thought he had a typical two-year-old boy delay, and while we don't need to be terribly worried about him, he does need some help.

So this morning we met with Ronnie. I was concerned about how it would go, considering his current massive dislike of strangers, but he seemed to feel pretty comfortable with her. And, even more impressive, he actually sat in his chair for much of the session. Oh, and did I mention he didn't say one word? Not ONE! At least not until we were leaving and he said "bye bye" clear as day. And at $145 per not-covered-by-insurance session, that was a pretty expensive sentence.

We've got a ways to go, it seems.

A little bit pregnant ...

Pregnant!

I'm shocked because I really didn't think I was (unlike every other month when I say to Mr. P, "I think I really could be pregnant this time."). With Kiddle I strongly suspected I was pregnant about a week and a half into it, but I hadn't really had any of the same signs this time ... except that I must have peed 50 times yesterday. So mostly on a whim today I decided to do a pregnancy test even though I'm not due to start my period for a couple of days. As I was doing it I was thinking that this was a total waste of a really expensive digital test. Imagine my surprise when I checked few minutes later and saw PREGNANT. Holy shit.

I'm thrilled though, because we have been trying kind-of-in-earnest since January and really-in-earnest with ovulation kits for a couple of months. (I know, I know. I said we were going to start trying last July but you have you heard? You have to have sex to get pregnant. Who knew.) I'm especially thrilled because my original goal was to have kids 2 1/2 to 3 years apart and this will put the gap at 3 years 1 month. (Well, my original goal was to have another one before I turned 40, but we passed that point in May. 40 it is! And isn't it the new 30?)

And, with Kiddle's lack of talking, I'm actually glad we're closer to 3 years apart. I think if I was having a baby right now it would be much more of a challenge with him. Hopefully we can get his speech on track by the time this baby shows up: May 14, 2009.

I'm keeping this post in draft form until I'm ready to share, so see you in November!

My Dad the Missionary

My dad left today for another mission trip to the Ukraine. I think this is his fourth trip over there? Third? Not sure, but in recent years he's become very involved in the mission council at our church. You can read all about their trip at the Church of the Servant in Ukraine link on the right.

I'm melting! I'm melting!

Just got back from our two weeks in Oklahoma. Now, I grew up there and am all too familiar with the weather, but ten days over 100 degrees? Too much for me anymore.

The reason we were there at a time that no one in their right mind would choose? To watch my nephew for a few days. My sister appeared in several shows during the local theater's summer season, and while normally my parents do the babysitting duties, they had a week-long trip planned in the middle of it all. So Kiddle and I were on the job.

And we had a great time. In some ways hanging out with two of them is easier than just one. They adore each other so they keep each other entertained. But, it was also like herding cats. You're constantly trying to get one to go somewhere, the other not to go somewhere, do this, don't do that. Fun and stressful all at once. And we kept really busy: the play area at the gymnastics center, the park, the sprayground, the play area at Chick-fil-A (or "chick-a-lay," as my nephew calls it), the science center, Pump It Up.

The last two activities we were only able to do because, in one of those bizarre mysteries of the universe, Mr. P actually had to be in Oklahoma for business while we were there. He's never gone there for work and probably won't ever again. And that week really was when he had to be there; he didn't schedule it around us at all. Crazy.

Overall, the first week was great. Kind of odd and kind of nice to be there for a week without my parents. I say odd mostly because it's not the house I grew up in, so it's still feels a bit like staying at a friend's house instead of your family home. And it's too big. My parents are the only people I know who moved into a bigger house after they got rid of the kids.

More on the second week in another post. Here are some great pics of my nephew at the sprayground (god, I wish we had one around here) plus a bit of video of the two of them. (And, no, I'm not total trailer trash! They don't normally run around in public dressed like that. Did I mention it was 140 degrees?)